Double Dog Dare My Willpower

Prestiq

2009-01-14T21:26:00.000-08:00

So I spent about 3 hours in the emergency room last night, they were cheeseless hours of course....who needs cheese when you've got needles!?...lots and lots of needles... I thought I was having a heart attack, but it was nothing more exciting than a panic attack...my life needs more drama! I can't even have a panic attack right. Fuck me with a hammer. Anywho 3 days down...I'm not noticing too much of a difference, but I shouldn't be one to expect miracles. I've been making lists of more things I can do on here and I think one I really want to do is exercise. Like say I exercise everyday for a week or 12 out of 14 days, something like that. Well see...I'm off to bed now...wish me cheesey dreams. I wear the cheese...it does not wear me.

Hangin Out With Captain Crunch

2009-01-12T19:19:00.000-08:00

So I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a month, just to check up and see where I am verses where I'll be in a week if stopping cheese does anything for me. I've only been obsessing about it all day, so no harm done. :) If there were no numbers I'd still know. I can feel the weight taking over me and its f-ing gross. I really am fat bastard and its a whore of a circle. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. Blah Blah Blah.

I probably should've given up cereal instead, I've finished at least half a box today.
Anywho its my first cheeseless day and I find myself not really caring...its not like dancing around in my head or anything. So one day down. A small victory against a giant bowl of cereal. FUCK!!!

Pure Honesty And An Explaination

2009-01-11T12:26:00.001-08:00

This is going to be an experiment in willpower. I want to push myself to be a better human being, and to feel like I have a life worth living. I want to push myself into no longer being afraid of success or of failure, because those are the things that make you. If you never try you'll never know...and I know from experience that is much worse than failure its self. So here's a blog dedicated to improvement and knowing...and hopefully a lot of craziness. Everybody loves a crazy.

Ok. So I'm 25 now. Life is nothing that I dreamed of when I was 13. I am unhappy, and I'm fucking sick of it. So this blog is going to be a way to sort of push myself into doing things that scare me, or maybe things I just plain don't want to do. It will be a way to better my life...hopefully...somehow. I don't know if anyone will ever read it, but hopefully someone will and we can all help each other out. Just as a warning any post I make will be riddled with grammar and punctuation errors so get the fuck over it now, or leave. :)

What I want to do here is something different every day, week, month...so on. I would love suggestions, and of course I will bring my own. I want to dare myself to do something I see impossible, or that I've seen myself failing at. I want to double dog dare my willpower to see how far I can really go. It can be silly things or serious things, but overall I want it to improve my life and maybe others along the way.

The first thing I'm going to do is not eat cheese for a week. I know it sounds silly, but I am really unhappy with my weight and I'm hoping this will be a small step in the right direction. I seem to be helpless against food, and I feel like its something I don't control...but there has to be something I can control. My husband quit drinking soda and lost a ton of weight so I figure maybe cheese will be my soda. I was going to become a vegan for the month of January, but I found myself too lazy, so this way I'll be like 3/4ths vegan.

I want other suggestions though like maybe I could strike up a conversation with a random stranger everyday for a week to help me with anxiety. I could go to the mall and sing at the doorway so maybe I'll never have stage fright again. I could do something anonymous and nice for someone every day. I could try new foods new exercises, I could randomly walk up to people and say dumb shit just so someone else gets a laugh out of it. Whatever. I'm game.

So I'll do whatever task it is, and I'll blog about it for that day, week, month that its going on. This week I may whine about how hard life without gods gift of cheese is or what interesting ways I found to eat things without it. How good I feel now....whatever happens.

So if you have any suggestions please LET ME KNOW!!!!
DOUBLE DOG DARE MY WILLPOWER!!!!
Heck yes.